i feel very lonely right now i’m drunk and all the couples have come home and gone to bed and now its just me and my fucked up thoughts.
I’m really in a sad place at the moment I’ve had all this exciting stuff happen to me lately but I feel as if I don’t know who I am I really really care about people but they only care about me when it suits them I think I’ve turned into someone really fucked up I ruin people’s friendships because I have so weird jealousy thing and I can’t help it I don’t even realise I’m doing it but I’ve now had the time to sit back and analyse it and I am a fucked up evil bitch everyone says how lovely and funny and kind I am but I’m only kind for my own personal selfish needs I back stab everyone! I hate hate hate that I try to stop but everyone does it I think what the fuck can I talk about oh and I really miss my mum and I really really miss my friend angel and enrols who are over seas but I would consider them my best friends even tho I’m not there number one which hurt abut but I’ll get over it, I’ve started distancing myself from people because I don’t deserve good people on my life I feel like cutting off every body so they don’t have to deal with my fucked up personality. That’s how I feel
why did i get myself stuck like this ?
You hold my hand, you fuck my brain.
you trick me into thinking everything’s ok when it isn’t
you make me come back every time I can never say no, or can i?
you’ve changed my thinking my way of life,
have you made my life better or worse ?
are you tricking me into thinking your helping me
you make me so fucking happy but you make me so fucking miserable
is it worth it?
you give me the best feeling that feeling i don’t get when im with out you
you make me crazy you make me sane.
I keep falling into your path, you just keep coming back and I cant resist myself
will it ever end… ?
Sometimes i freak out and think that everyone’s pretending to like me and everyone secretly hates me, but then do i really care?